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I ended Part I of the 'Boundaries' blog with the idea of examining each "tattered feather", each boundary that was crossed and damaged, one by one. When enduring challenge in a relationship, when totally "in it", it takes much effort to step out and have a look at the deeply rooted causes of the problems, yet, it is possible that...
The deeply rooted causes of the problem are most often not because of the partner.
They may catalyze the wound coming to surface.
They are giving us a gift, in doing so.
I invite us to have a closer look at the original concept I presented: "a damaged boundary line":
On a psychological and energy-dynamic level, when boundaries are out of integrity, we essentially cannot know what it is that we want and do not want.
Many of us, from an early age, along the way, may have been shamed by parents/caregivers when expressing what we wanted. We may have even been told to want something else.
In that moment, a feather is tattered.
A boundary has not been affirmed.
A desire was suppressed.
A confusion of self-identity is seeded, in the psychological manipulation that is an inherent impact of shaming desire.
These little events accumulate in formative years; these 'positive boundaries' are not only crossed, but also possibly: ridiculed, punished, and shamed. This causes one's self-worth to be in question.
However, herein lies the gift...
The beauty is in the journey, back to wholeness, to integrity.
In integrity, we may integrate all of our denied aspects of self.
There are myriad ways to release and rebuild...one way is by positive affirmations - essentially - by re-parenting ourselves. We can re-write the stories. We can learn to align to new equations of worthiness.
In creating nourishing, loving and affirmative experiences, first within our own minds and hearts, we re-parent ourselves. As we commit to this journey, we begin to attract friends and lovers, into our our sphere that also lovingly affirm our true desire(s).
The more clear we become, by honoring our true visions for our life, the more clear our situations in life become. We attract in people who support our true visions, because, we, ourselves, are supporting our true vision.
I am not indicating that this is an easy journey, by any means. I am also not advocating any spiritual or positive thought by-passing, and I grant us all time to grieve and thoroughly feel the pain of the tattered places, the damaged boundaries.
In my experience, this asks for a good deal of solo (soulo) time (-: , introspection, commitment, and sweet nights and days to come into harmony with yourself. It also requires a trusted bedrock of friends/community, and, if possible, professional, support as well.
Here is a simple, yet potent, tool toward re-claiming of your true desire. It is a neurological re-wiring...creating new pathways of self-talk in your being:
~ Self-Talk ~
Affirm your desires:
"I am worthy of receiving my desire of ___________ "
(your specific desire)
"I love and accept myself even as I am unclear on what I want, and willing to receive more clarity, as I continue to listen to my inner self."
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If you feel called to work with me, I offer private Vocal-Tantra -Empowerment Coaching, Online Courses, and Live Group Voice Power Pleasure Workshop-Journeys for Wombyn. Click here to book your Free Exploration Call, or here to book a private voice empowerment, or, an intuitive bodywork session.
All my love ~Lele Heartloom
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