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This week, I had an awakening. I awoke to another tier, another octave . . .of love.
When navigating heartache, when ceasing toxic patterns, manipulation, and force, we are invited to break utterly open, from our inside-out. We are asked to breathe right into the ~core of the core~ of the wound.
Resistance is inherent; pain and blame is an expected icy obstacle, and surrender appears to be absolutely thousands of miles away. Until hopefully, one day, it lands, right in the middle of that 29th molten breakdown-to-breakthrough, delivering us back home, to Love.
I have asked, despairingly, many times... "how many times?! How many more times do I need to go through this, before I am met fully, deeply, in true love, with a partner?"
My answer came 5 days ago. It came as a wild ocean, and a gentle stream, all at once, into my body, heart-pulses, through the flaming conduits of anger, and out the other side into a fierce "no", stemming from a long awaited birthing of a courageous "yes." As I danced wildly, amidst ecstatic dancers and a kinetic healing cloud, I was anchoring into the inner dust-storms of my pain, allowing them to form into constellations, leading me to my deepest yes.
It is following this deepest yes, that leads one to the fulfilling partnership, that they are seeking. The road to finding this quality of love, expansive love, is found within, before it can be identified and secured in the outer. When we realize we are truly all here to shine and radiate, to become all the things we fear most to become, then we step into our power. The only way to step into our power is through this loving consciousness. It is so utterly sweet, once this is activated. The way is suddenly made clear. The path is bright, and trust is found, more and more easily, within each and every passing anxiety.
Personally, I found this YES in my plans unfolding to embrace my music and healing services, to do the very thing I have been afraid of my whole life... travel, sing, teach. The only way I can step up into these callings, is to feel the power of my love generate out of my heart and core, to burst out, fill my electromagnetic field, and cycle back into my neuronal electric highways.
It is humbling to realize and confess that the missing ingredient in my own life, and in my offerings - was - tapping into Love. Universal , all-expansive, ever-supportive Love.
I have been working for years on my personal power; I have been in positions to guide others in finding their power - through expression, singing, vocalizing. In workshops and private sessions, I have supported women, in clearing fears within creativity, sexuality, womb, voice, and speaking up. Many of us are dancing with the goal for empowerment. It is time we let love lead this dance, lead us to our empowered selves.
Hence, my inquiry: does true personal power reside only within a heart-opened consciousness?
On a physiological level, within the nervous system, there is a potent bridge between the heart and solar plexus (nerve plexus), and that includes the vagus nerve. Perhaps it is our responsibility and opportunity to allow the heartbreak - that achingly tender stretch that only opens the heart space wider if we let it- to fire up in neuronal intelligence, until the surrender into love is all that is left. . .
. . . then we finally recognize that one person in our life crying, quaking, praying, for more love, and we come home , to embrace that one: our Self.
We cascade the heart waves of bio-electric-dialogue down into our power center at our Solar Plexus, our creative center at our Womb, upward to the Truth of our Voice, and we rise up. We show up to the one who needs it most. We begin the journey, the first step, to live our wildest dreams. Now, that is L o v e.
There is Power rushing through
the quaking little deaths, of my tears,
of broken bleeding heart.
Vastly more than this self loving self;
It is
stardust evaporating out of the tears that shake me.
It is
being surrounded in a cloud of shimmering sigils,
envelopes, warm and cooling.
It is
all I have ever been seeking,
touching my every millimeter of skin,
coursing through my electric intelligence,
empowering every
crevice and curve
of this
humanness
into its forgiven
imperfect shapes of water & stardust,
imprinted upon genius,
asking to know itself.
Love is the only
Power.
All else is false,
is force,
is pain,
is pain asking to be felt,
to be moved,
to be loved,
to be Love,
powerful
only in its capacity
to let itself in. straight back to you.
oh sweetheart, fear
less,
let
your Love
rush In.
If you are currently in a phase of grief and heartbreak, I have five offerings for you:
1. Dance, dance, and. . .then, dance. Move your body, sweat, cry, shake; find ways that are safe and nourishing, to discharge the pain, the anger, or ,even - the rage.
2. Create nourishing routines, especially at night and in the morning. Meditate, journal any negative repeating thoughts of the relationship out onto paper, listen to guided meditations, and uplifting podcasts.
3. <3 Be gentle with yourself; have compassion. We are here to grow, we may as well have kind thoughts to ourself, while in the growing pains. <3
4. Vision. Dream. Breathe boldly - life into your heart - and access the medicine of the relationship shifting. What beauty is asking to be realized now in your life? What dreams and life goals are you to embrace?
5. When spiraling downward into negative thoughts, and the above tips are not quite doing it, text and call your closest friends. Be vulnerable. Ask for support. Tell them what you need.
If you feel called to work with me, I offer private Vocal Tantra -Empowerment Coaching, Online Courses, and Live Group Voice Power Pleasure Workshop-Journeys. Click here to book your Free Exploration Call, & here to book a private voice empowerment, or, an intuitive bodywork session.
All my Love ~ Lele Heartloom